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5 Ways to Avoid Flaking in Online Dating

Are you tired of flaking in online dating and want to establish better connections? Flaking can cause frustration and disappointment for both parties, but with the appropriate approach, it can be avoided. In the world of online dating, it’s crucial to respect people’s time and maintain consistency in your interactions.

image Flaking


In this article, we’ll discuss five ways you can reduce flaking in online dating, ensuring that you establish genuine connections and don’t miss out on potential romantic opportunities. These strategies will help you navigate the digital dating scene with more confidence and success, ensuring that both you and the people you engage with have a positive experience.

Understand and Identify Flaking Behavior

Signs of Flaky Behavior

Flaky behavior can manifest in various ways, especially in the world of online dating. Here are a few common signs to look out for:

  • Making grand plans but never following through
  • Frequently rescheduling or canceling dates
  • Providing vague or inconsistent answers about their availability
  • Not responding to messages for extended periods
  • Being evasive or dishonest about their intentions

Recognizing these signs can help you identify flaking behavior and prevent potential disappointment in your dating life.

Reasons Behind Flaking

There are multiple reasons why someone might exhibit flaky behavior in online dating. Some of the common reasons include:

  1. Personality Flaw: Flaking can be a natural part of a person’s character, meaning it has nothing to do with you or your interactions with them 1.
  2. Fear of Commitment: Some people might be scared of forming a deep connection or getting too close to someone they meet online, resulting in flaking.
  3. Multiple Options: In the world of online dating, people often have numerous potential matches, which can lead them to be more indecisive or easily distracted by other options.
  4. Lack of Interest: Although they might have initially seemed interested, it’s possible their interest has waned due to various factors over time, such as finding someone else or simply losing the initial attraction.

By understanding the reasons behind flaking and being aware of the signs, you can better navigate the world of online dating and avoid unnecessary disappointment.

Ensure Clear and Honest Communication

Set Boundaries and Expectations

When engaging in online dating, it’s important for both men and women to set boundaries and expectations early on. This helps in establishing a foundation for a healthy and successful dating experience. Clearly express your intentions, and ask your potential date about their expectations as well. By doing so, you both can have a mutual understanding of each other’s wants and needs, which can lead to a more comfortable and natural interaction.

  • Discuss your preferred method of communication (e.g., texting, phone calls, video chats)
  • Specify your dating goals (e.g., casual dating, long-term commitment, friendship)
  • Share your availability for dates and frequency of online interactions

Build Trust and Comfort

Creating a sense of trust and comfort is essential in online dating. This allows both parties to feel more at ease during the dating process, and it may help to prevent flaking on the first date. Here are some ways you can build trust and develop a comfortable connection with your prospective date:

  1. Be genuine and authentic: Show your true self and avoid exaggerating or making false claims.
  2. Share personal stories: Open up about your experiences and interests to foster a deeper connection.
  3. Actively listen: Give your undivided attention when your potential date is speaking and ask insightful questions to show genuine interest.
  4. Communicate regularly: Maintain consistent communication to strengthen your bond and display your commitment.
  5. Respect their boundaries: Always be respectful and mindful of the boundaries your potential date has set, and expect the same in return.

Remember, a transparent and open line of communication in online dating is crucial for creating lasting connections. By setting clear expectations and building trust early on, you can reduce the chances of flaking and enjoy a more fulfilling online dating experience.

Strategies to Avoid Flaking

In your online dating journey, avoiding flakiness can help you have more successful and enjoyable experiences. Here are three strategies to consider implementing:

1. Build a genuine connection

It is all about the spark and the continuation of building up the fire.

Before exchanging numbers or setting up a date, focus on establishing a genuine connection with the other person. Share your interests, ask meaningful questions, and find common ground. By creating a strong emotional bond, you’re more likely to follow through with the date, and the other person is more likely to reciprocate. Remember, genuine connections are built on mutual interests and trust, not just exchanging superficial information.

2. Minimize the time between setting the date and the actual date

According to, a practical way to reduce flaking is to minimize the time gap between agreeing on the date and when the date occurs. Long intervals between these two moments can cause enthusiasm and anticipation to wane. Instead, aim to set dates within a week’s time to keep the excitement levels high.

I typically asked the person out 1-2 days out, that’s the optimal time because they have the initial spark inside their head still. If you don’t ask them out right away, that spark is going to die off.

My partner, however, was persistent. He didn’t meet me until 2 weeks. But, he did ask me out right away after building a genuine connection. The reason I didn’t see him was because of Covid. Normally, guys would move on but not him. He was persistent but not pushy. He asked me once again and we agreed on a date. It was probably the best decision that led to our successful relationship.

3. Engage in video calls before meeting in person

Preventing Online Dating Flaking suggests engaging in video calls before setting up a face-to-face date. Video calls help you better understand the other person’s personality, mannerisms, and even their sense of humor. By engaging in video calls, you can filter out potential mismatches and reduce the chances of flaking on either side. A brief video call can save you both time and energy compared to an unnecessarily long in-person date.

Remember, avoiding flaking in online dating is a two-way street – both you and the other person must be invested in the process. By following these practical strategies, you’re more likely to have fulfilling dating experiences and find more meaningful connections.

Be Punctual and Follow Through with Plans

Online dating can be a great way to meet people, but flaking on plans can harm your reputation and relationships. Here are some strategies to help you be punctual and follow through with plans.

Confirm before heading out

Before you head out to meet your date, take a moment to confirm the time and place with them. This can help to avoid any misunderstandings and show that you are on the same page. Additionally, confirming the date can help you to mentally prepare and allocate ample time to arrive at the location, ensuring you are not late. A simple message like “Looking forward to seeing you at 7 pm at [location]!” is sufficient.

Avoid Overcommitment

One reason people flake on their online dates is because they have overcommitted themselves, either socially or with other commitments. To avoid this happening to you, carefully assess your availability before agreeing to a date.

Here are some tips to help manage your commitments:

  • Prioritize what is most important to you
  • Recognize your limits and set boundaries
  • Leave some buffer time between commitments
  • Communicate with your date if changes need to be made

By being conscious of your schedule and not overcommitting, you’ll be more likely to follow through with your plans.

Show Respect for Time

Respecting a person’s time is an essential aspect of dating. Here are some ways to demonstrate that you value your date’s time:

  • Be punctual: Make it a priority to arrive on time to your dates, showing that you respect their time and the effort they put into meeting you.
  • Honesty about cancellations: If you need to cancel plans, let your date know as soon as possible. Being honest with them can help them make alternative plans and minimize disappointment.
  • Avoid double booking: Do not schedule other events or dates so close to your original plan that it risks running late or needing to reschedule. This will help ensure that you have sufficient time for each activity.

By being punctual and following through with your plans, you show your potential partners that you value their time and your intentions in the online dating world.

Build a Genuine Connection

Focus on Shared Interests

Discovering and discussing shared interests can help you create a genuine connection with your online dating match. Start by analyzing their profile and determining hobbies or topics that you both enjoy. When talking with your match, engage in conversations about these common interests, as it can lead to more meaningful and enjoyable interactions. Vague or superficial discussions may leave a lot to be desired, so focusing on common interests can prevent misunderstandings and build rapport.

Be Authentic and Transparent

Being your true self is crucial when trying to create a genuine connection in online dating. Avoid the temptation to present an idealized version of yourself or exaggerate your looks, achievements, or experiences. Being authentic and transparent allows you to find a partner who appreciates you for who you are and helps prevent unnecessary frustration in the future.

To foster further authenticity, open conversations about love, sex, and other important aspects of a potential relationship where relevant. By expressing your intentions, boundaries, and preferences, you can create a comfortable environment for you and your match to share openly, promoting a deeper understanding of one another.

Second Date Planning

Planning a second date can positively impact your online dating experience and help you avoid flaking. Once you have established a genuine connection with someone, think about possible second-date activities that align with your shared interests. Taking the initiative to plan and propose unique date ideas demonstrates your enthusiasm and investment in the relationship, making your match less likely to flake.

By actively engaging with your match, showing your authentic self, and thoughtfully planning the second date, you can build a genuine connection that transcends the online dating world and lays a strong foundation for a potential relationship.


Flaking can be a big problem but if you follow these guidelines, you are likely to feel better even if they flake on you. You know you did what you could. There is no 100% proof to prevent flaking. Anything can happen to either of us. Let’s not take it personal and find yourself another potential partner. The right person would not flake on you!

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