Moving in together after long distance relationships can be exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. You have spent a lot of time apart, and now you are finally going to be living in the same place. It’s a big step, and you want to make sure you’re ready for it.
One of the first things you need to do when moving in together after long distance is to have a conversation about your expectations. You may have talked about this before, but it’s important to revisit the topic now that you are going to be living together. Discuss things like household chores, finances, and personal space. Make sure you are both on the same page and have a plan for how you will handle any issues that may arise.
Another thing to consider is the physical space you will be sharing. You may have visited each other before, but living together is different. You will need to figure out how to make the space work for both of you. This may mean compromising on decor or rearranging furniture. It’s important to create a space that feels like home for both of you. Remember that it’s okay to take your time and make adjustments as needed.
What to Know Before Moving In
Moving in after long distance is a huge step in your relationship. Before you make the move, there are a few things you should talk about and deeply consider.
Discuss Finances
One of the most important things to discuss before moving in together is finances. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to how you’ll split rent, utilities, and other expenses. Create a budget together and be honest about your financial situation. You don’t want to be caught off guard by unexpected expenses.
One important aspect of this is not expecting one person to pay all the time, especially for dates. For us, sharing financial responsibility when it comes to going out works the best. Just make sure it’s not one sided. But that’s what works for you, then no problems, just make sure to thank your partner and make up for it in other ways.
Talk About Expectations
Living with someone can be very different from just visiting them. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to expectations around chores, alone time, and socializing. It’s important to have open and honest communication about what you both want and need from the living situation.
It’s best to talk about this before hand and not just go into it without knowing you partners wants and needs. You can’t expect your partner to read your mind so you must communicate if you need more alone time or whatever it may be. make sure set realistic expectations to give your partner a fair chance when it comes to making you comfortable. Just be open and honest and all should go well.
Consider Your Living Space
Before you move in together, think about the living space you’ll be sharing. Will you be moving into your partner’s place or finding a new place together? Make sure you both feel comfortable in the space and have enough room for your belongings. You may need to compromise on decor or furniture, so be prepared to work together to make the space feel like home.
You’ll most likely be sharing a room so take into account the space you both have for personal items. Also, if you need to down size it’s ok. You can put stuff into storage in a separate room or a storage unit if needed. Split the space evenly and remember, you won’t have the same amount of privacy as you had before.
Take it Slow
Moving in together is a big step, so take your time and don’t rush into it. Make sure you’ve spent enough time together in person before making the move. It’s also a good idea to spend a few nights together before officially moving in to get a feel for what it will be like.
I knew I was gonna move in with W, but before I did, I flew down multiple times, and when it got more serious, spent 2 weeks with him just to test things out. Doing this will get you both familiar with the idea of living together and will bring up any questions or concerns you may have.
Being Flexible
You might have different habits, lifestyles, and expectations, and it’s essential to be flexible and open-minded to make your cohabitation work. Here are some tips on how to be flexible when moving in together:
- Compromise on household chores. You and your partner might have different standards of cleanliness, or one of you might prefer to do certain chores over others. Instead of insisting on your way, try to find a compromise that works for both of you. Maybe you can split the chores based on your preferences or take turns doing them. The key is to communicate openly and respectfully about your needs and expectations.
- Respect each other’s space. Moving in together doesn’t mean you have to spend all your time together. It’s essential to respect each other’s need for alone time and personal space. Maybe you can designate certain areas of your home as “me time” zones or have a schedule for when you need some alone time. By respecting each other’s space, you can avoid conflicts and maintain a healthy relationship.
- Be open to change. Moving in together is a big change, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or anxious about it. However, it’s essential to be open to change and adapt to your new lifestyle. Maybe you have to adjust your work schedule, change your eating habits, or compromise on your daily routine. By being flexible and open-minded, you can make your transition smoother and more enjoyable.
- Communicate regularly. Communication is key to any healthy relationship, and it’s even more crucial when you’re living together. Make sure to communicate regularly about your feelings, needs, and expectations. Maybe you can have a weekly check-in meeting or a shared calendar to keep track of your schedules and plans. By communicating openly and honestly, you can avoid misunderstandings and build a stronger relationship.
In summary, being flexible is essential when moving in together after a long-distance relationship. By compromising on household chores, respecting each other’s space, being open to change, and communicating regularly, you can make your cohabitation work and enjoy your new life together.
Sacrificing
Moving in together after long-distance relationships requires many sacrifices from both parties. You have to be willing to give up some of your personal space and adjust to living with another person. For me, I had to move to a different state to be with him, and I would do it all over again if I had to. Even in normal relationships there is always something you must sacrifice; otherwise it’s doesn’t mean anything.
If you truly want your relationship to succeed, you would be ok with certain sacrifices. here are a few things that you may have to sacrifice when moving in together:
- Privacy: Living with your partner means that you will no longer have the same level of privacy that you had before. You will have to share a bathroom, bedroom, and other living spaces. This can be a difficult adjustment, but it’s important to communicate with your partner and establish boundaries.
- Time: Moving in together means that you will be spending a lot more time with your partner. This can be a good thing, but it can also be challenging if you’re used to having your own space and time. You may have to give up some of your hobbies or activities to spend time with your partner.
- Money: Living together means that you will be sharing expenses and financial responsibilities. This can be a difficult adjustment, especially if you’re used to managing your own finances. It’s important to communicate with your partner about your financial expectations and work together to create a budget.
- Independence: Moving in together means that you will no longer have complete independence. You will have to make decisions together and compromise on things like household chores, decorating, and other aspects of daily life.
Making this move requires sacrifices from both parties. It’s important to communicate with your partner and establish boundaries to make the transition as smooth as possible.
Moving In Together After Long Distance
Since I’ve done it before, I’m gonna tell you a little about what it’s like after you make the move.
Moving States
Yes, I moved states to live with my boyfriend. Do I regret it? Not in the slightest. Do I miss my friends and family? Yes, especially my dogs. However, I’ve lived that life for 20+ years now and I was ready to leave it behind for something new. If you find yourself in the same boat, missing your partner and wanting to move out, make sure not to rush it. Spend time with your friends, family, pets, who ever before it’s to late.
It’s also important to listen to those same people when it comes to moving out. I wanted to move out as soon as possible, but I am super grateful I listened to my family when they told me I should wait because it gave me more time with them. You have the rest of your life with your partner (hopefully) so make sure you spend time with the people you might not get to see as much.
Being Busy
Since my boyfriend is studying for medical school, he is often busy and we can’t go out and do things together as often as we’d like to. As the less busy person, I have to understand that what he is doing is important for both of our futures and I need support him in his work and studies. What this means is I can’t distract him all the time even though I may want to. Don’t get your expectations to high, they may be crushed.
Again this isn’t for every relationship this is just my personal experience. Know that you both have life’s and you both have commitments so your time won’t be filled with fun stuff 24/7. This being said, you should try to make time for each other as much as possible and it’s best to go out together on dates once a week if you can.
No More Mystery
Another thing to keep in mind is there will be no more mystery in your relationship after you make that move. You will know everything about each other and share so much time that the way they act and the things they say will no longer be a surprise. However, This Is Normal. And it’s a good thing. Being able to get to know the in’s and out’s of someone you truly love is a beautiful privilege and should not be deemed as an unfortunate thing.
Nevertheless, this is the most crucial time to voice boundaries with your partner. Have a polite sit down discussion and talk about what you are cool with and what you aren’t so they know your comfort level.
All this being said, it’s super nice to see your partner everyday after not being able to see them at all. Looking into their eyes instead of through a phone screen is a true gift. Once I moved in with W, I haven’t taken one moment for granted because I much rather be in his arms than thousands of miles away from him. Waking up in the same bed and going to sleep right next to each other is one of the best feelings that life can offer.
Take Away
Moving in after long distance is a lot of work, and requires a lot of sacrifices, but being able to see your significant other every morning is absolutely worth all that effort. While it may take some getting used to, and it’s definitely not always rainbow and sunshine (no relationship is) but every struggle you face, you face together; not miles away or over a screen, but truly together.
If you are thinking about moving in with your long distance partner, I highly recommend staying with them for a couple weeks at first just to try it out and make sure you don’t get tired of each other over a long amount of time. If possible, try to travel with them. Traveling is one of the times you are the most stressed out, and it’s good to see how they work under pressure before fully committing.
Just make sure before moving in together after long distance, you talk about living space, boundaries, finances, and expectations. To make any relationship work, you must be flexible and there must be sacrifices from both parties other wise it’s not worth much of anything. If you want to know if you are truly ready to move, go to Insider for tips for moving in with your partner.
So there you go. As long as you both have open communication, you can do anything, including move in with each other.